I have this post tagged, “first days” because I’ve been taking one special photograph for each first day of the new season. This one completes a set of four, starting with spring, then summer, fall and now this winter photo. It’s been fun to do. I love this picture of Caleb in the falling snow, and I used photobucket to add the quote to it. When you leave a comment, you will see the link for “firstdays” on the side of the page, if you would like to see the other photos.
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But wait! There’s more!
Yesterday did not turn out anything like I expected, no coziness whatsoever until AFTER ALL the children were in bed….it was just so busy here. I didn’t mention before, but I’ve got a cold. Just a simple, common cold. However, because I already use up 100% of my energy as a healthy person, the cold is making me loony. The house…..is a disaster. Jacob……is still sick. Rich……is also not feeling well.
I didn’t sleep very well last night, again. My cold makes me wake up, with my mouth as dry as paper. Drinking so much water means trips to the bathroom. I had to get up to eat a snack at 4:00am. My side of the bed is littered with tissues, all over the floor and nightstand.
Rich has things he needs to do this morning at church and so while he got ready to go, I got David and Caleb ready. I never did get a belt on David and I burst into TEARS when I saw him leave– hitching his pants up with one hand, while proudly holding the gift for his teacher in the other. His shoes were on the wrong feet, too. Why was I crying? Because of the whirlwind of stuff I had to do to get them out the door. I had the gift for Pastor, the gifts for all the teachers, I had to wrap the gifts that were for Ethan and Jacob’s gift exchange, and get the Christmas cards in Rich’s hand. The Christmas cards made me cry as well. I could not find the church directory so they are all BLANK. The envelopes are BLANK and the card inside is one of those picture cards with our names printed on….no handwritten message whatsoever. Rich said, “Aren’t we going to put the names on the front” and that’s what got me crying. So what do you think? Are my cards better than NOTHING? We have file folders in the fellowship hall and Rich can just pop one in each person’s folder, they don’t really NEED names….do they?
I have to battle against perfectionist tendencies. Everywhere I went this morning made me uptight. I ended up scrubbing the glass to the wood pellet stove door (David melted bits of marshmallow to it) until Rich told me to quit being silly. But, I like the glass spotless! I went upstairs to dress the boys and ended up putting away an entire laundry basket of their clothes while tripping over all four boys and getting two of them dressed. I had to get something from the bathroom and ended up windexing it because it was a mess…..and I haven’t gotten to the kitchen or my bedroom. The boy’s room downstairs made me angry because I wanted it cleaned spotless yesterday and it only got HALF DONE.
I just want to cry. I don’t feel good, I’m tired, my house is a mess, every where I look (well, everywhere except the wood pellet stove and the toilet seat and sink in the kid’s bathroom). Where are my merry little Christmas elves?
During the Christmas season, no matter how much I start ahead of time, I still end up in a rush which discourages me. Rich and the kids help out as much as they can but I do more than anyone around here, of course, and that’s okay but every once in a while it gets to be way. too. much. And I’m silly, because the more tired I am, the more demanding I am on myself. “I just can’t possibly get in bed unless I clean my room first and change the sheets!” (silly and loony)
So pray for me today. Pray that I will be able to ignore the things I should be doing and just rest. Jacob and Grace are here, but I have banished them to their rooms.
Thanks……
Love, your silly ol’ pal, ~Shanda
PS…you should see the snow coming down! Weather wise, it’s the perfect first day of winter! We’re in a snow-globe! I’m glad Rich has his big truck to drive today.
Good to be Home 
You poor thing! I will be praying for peace in your heart and a full recovery with an amundance of energy
Oh, Shanda! Go look at my yesterday’s blog again. Surely you know, you aren’t alone! I have the same dry throat thing – “like paper” a perfect description!I DID push myself yesterday and ended up with a horrible headache. Had to go to bed early with 2 headache pills! We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves, but I continue to do so, anyway!Seriously, go back and look at my house again and remember . . . I didn’t take pictures of the bedrooms or the girls’ bathroom!!! They looked like the rest of the house – not to mention the garage floor, which still holds the 100’s of Wal-Mart sacks where we dropped them on Friday. I’m not a crier, but if I were . . . I’d *definitely* be crying with you!
Awww I soooo know the feeling you’re describing. I have to fight perfectionist tendencies too and I feel really crazy if the house is in disarray. I hope you feel better soon. Prayers and hugs being sent your way…
awww, bless your heart Shanda! I think we mommies all relate to you. Once my husband put something about that in a Christmas letter,”does anyone else feel overwhelmed with the messy house”, we had a big response. It is hard to have the cold when you are carrying a baby too. Please try to cozy up in that bed and get some rest. God wired us somehow to want our nest clean,yet you need to try and get that rest. I always wanted the house picked up and clean Christmas morning….don’t quite understand when we would then make a big mess…but it was the setting Praying for you! JennyOh, and yes, the cards without writing are still a big blessing. I have to pick mine up today…so everyone will get them between Christmas and New Years! Just the way it happened this year. I love the idea of a picture for each season! We watched Prince Caspian and enjoyed it so…Lucy’s childlike sweet faith is inspiring!
Can you catch cold through Xanga? I have a head cold too and sayed home from a Christmas party last night and church today so I wouldn’t spread it! I’m planning a meal for my children on Christmas eve and another one for my parents on Christmas day so I need to get rid of this!Oh, my, I hope you can get settled and not so stressed over the clean house, etc. I remember those days when my children were young and now I’m telling Ruby “Get well and come to grandma’s and mess up my house — I’ll let you!” (-:God bless you — get some rest!
Oh, can I relate to what you are saying here. No matter how early I start, there is always a rush to get everything together the closer it gets to Christmas. I, too, struggle with perfectionism. All the “shoulds” just get to me. I’m trying to learn to let go of the unimportant, but it is a constant struggle. We had a beautiful snow day yesterday, and I felt like you, it wasn’t calm or cozy until late at night, when it was finally QUIET. Oh, the busyness of a household full of children(and 5 sets of wet snow clothes)! Thanks for sharing your heart. I’ve been praying off the discouragement for myself today, I’ll pray for you too.:)
I’ll come clean for you if you want…..just ring my bell~love ya sissy
I’m SORRY it is a no-good, terrible, very bad day. 🙂 You know that book, I’m guessing? Baby steps, Shanda…a little here, a little there. You’re going to make it!!! Love you!!!
Your first day photos are awesome. You are very creative and talented. And also a wonderful mother! Have you considered getting someone to come in once a week to help with the major cleaning?
I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. I hope you’re back to yourself soon.
Oh Shanda…:) They are going to love the cards, whether their names are on the front or not. Are you kidding? You have 5 children and one on the way, I am just impressed that you were able to get the Christmas cards together at all!! I think that, as mothers, we try to be everything to everybody. Sometimes we just need to slow down and say ,”It’s okay if this is all I can do today, it will suffice.” You are doing a great job and it is evident as I look at the pictures of your close-knit family. Way to go mom!
Your post is easily identified with, and I have found that when my merry little elves have fled, it is usually because they are looking for merry little Mamma.Hang in there….and don’t sweat the small stuff. To be honest, my daughter and I laughed hysterically as we read! In spite of your very bad day….you are a great writer. Some day you will laugh too. Love you!
It’s gonna all be okay ~ take a deep breath, look up, close your eyes, relax ~ now with your eyes closed and your head tilting up ~ listen for that still small Voice ~ and let His peace soak through your soul. Everything that is a mess will eventually be cleaned up and everything will get done sometime. It is okay, Shanda. Now smile through your tears and go find some chocolate ~
You poor thing! I wish I could come there and make you tea. I would insist you put your feet up and I would put on some soothing music. Then I would roll up my sleeves and attack your kitchen and wherever else was bothering you. I get in moods like that, too. I just feel like I can’t relax, even if I am hurting, until the house is in order. Every time I sit down, I see something that needs doing~~ I am sure your cards will be fine. It will be a wonderful surprise for people to open up the envelope and see your lovely family smiling. David is not the first little boy to forget his belt. I am sure it is not bothering him in the least! LOL! You are over tired, and you really need to rest if you are going to get over this cold. Your first priority right now is you and the baby, so let the rest go as much as you can. Hugs! Oh, and I checked out the First Days photos, and loved them all!
Shanda, Shanda, how I wish I was there to help you out. I can so relate to how you feel. My house being a mess makes me feel so bad, and it seems to always be a mess with so many little “elves” around. Being sick and pregnant just makes everything seem that much more insurmountable. I know how hard it is, but I pray that you are able to ignore the mess and the things you think you need to be doing and just get some rest today. Love and hugs to you my friend!
Goodness, Shanda…you can always call on one of us to come help you, I hope you know that. You know I wouldn’t mind at all 🙂 I was checking with Rich this morning to see how you were doing. Poor thing. I hope you’re feeling a little better this evening. Love you!
You say “ignore the things I should be doing and just rest” but isn’t that what you “should” be doing?? Ok, it’s way easier said than done because I know how I get with the messes and the endless tasks to be done but you’re going to make the days miserable and your children and husband will see it and for what? For cleanliness. Bah. Take 15 minutes a couple of times a day and tackle the bathroom or the laundry and after that go rest or enjoy your kids in all their messiness and shoes-on-the-wrong-footedness. And pictures cards in envelopes with no names or personalization are going to be sufficent. There is no perfection. Ok, so remind me all this when I have my meltdowns ok??
What a great idea taking a picture of the beginning of each series. I have been doing a December Photo Project that someone hosted on their blog and that has been a lot of fun. I hope you get to feeling better.
I get the same way, Shan. Listening to you say it brings me comfort because I feel I’m not alone in my insanity. I battle with the perfectionist thing sometimes too. I could do a lot better though. More and more I’ve learned it’s better to stop and make a phone call to a friend, mom, Erika and keep reminding myself that relationships are so important. It’s hard to find that balance. Prayed for you. praying for you. I love you.
I am late reading this, but I will be praying for you to be able to enjoy the next three full days! God is ever so wonderful at blessing us in ways we can just not even try to fathom.
I understand.Last year i did not get many cards sent out because i was not well and thought maybe i would not get many this year and I did. People are generally understanding. You did so well to getting the cards ready and gifts etc, don’t be hard on yourself. Your children are happy and content, and thats so important. Look after yourself. I’m sure everything will work out for Christmas and trust that you are feeling better.
Your picture is absolutely priceless and the quote is perfect. I don’t think you are silly for wanting spotless glass, I am the same way. I think it is so easy as a Mom to get worn down just by every day things not to mention nurturing that little one inside of you. Get some extra rest by that warm pellet stove. (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
It is now a quarter ’til ten at night here in my little town. Though I don’t know you in person, I do care very much about you! Dear Girl, I hope and pray that as I tap on these keys, you are in a sound, peaceful, restorative sleep and that tomorrow will be a glorious day for you, even if you still have that cold! As far as cleaning, I’ve had my moments of ridiculous desire to have something spotless. Part of that is hormonal, I’m sure! The frenzied cleaning of the kitchen can sometimes be a source of entertainment for my husband! Anyway, I will keep praying for you. Your winter/snow pictures are amazing! Just like beautiful calendar pictures! love, Gail oh, p.s. Caleb’s socky feet on the table…priceless!
Beautiful Shanda!!!! Sorry you are not feeling well…Merry Christmas!
Such a beautiful picture…I hope the days get better…
Hope your Sunday was full of rest… say a prayer for me today, as I have to clean and pack and prepare for holiday travel, and still be a mom… I guess I better get of the computer!!
you know i couldnt even manage to GET a gift for the teachers!! I so totally relate!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! i need elves too!
Aww, I know that this post is from yesterday, but I will still be praying for you… lifting you up before our Heavenly Father, asking him to give you strength and courage, and that he would help you be able to slow down and ENJOY this Christmas season!
Love ya!
Just a quick word of encouragement to those who offered “to come help you out, just give us a call”….I don’t know about the rest of you, but if you needed someone to help you clean your house, would you REALLY call and ask? I don’t think I would….I would feel like I was impossing on a friendship..but that’s me….I encourage those of you who live close to Shanda, to organize a posse, and go over there…en masse. It will make Shanda smile, as well as yourselves. We all get too busy this time of year, and take on too much, and get overwhelmed…and say to ourselves “next year I’ll plan better”..haha. Take a deep breath and let some of it go…how the house looks, whether the Christmas cards got sent, whether the baking got done…it matters so little in the grand scheme of things doesn’t it? This season is about the birth of our Lord, and rejoicing in the families we’ve been given…enjoy, dear Shanda, savor these precious moments, be anxious for nothing…. xoxo from California..
Have you ever read the books “If you give a mouse a cookie?” I am sure you have, you sound just like that book! LOL, you went to the boys room and while you were there you saw the laundry so you decided to… and so it goes until you collapse on the couch at night with no energy to spare!