“While gentleness should always mark a husband’s bearing toward his wife, there are occasions which call for peculiar thoughtfulness and sympathetic expression. Sometimes she is very weary. The cares of the day have been unusually trying. Matters have not gone smoothly at home. Her quivering nerves have been sorely overtaxed. She has heard sad news. A child has been sick all day, or, worse still, has by some disobedience or some wrong-doing almost broken her heart. What is a husband’s part at such times? Surely if he is capable of tenderness he will allow it now. He will not utter a word to add to the load the overburdened spirit is already carrying. He will seek rather by every thoughtful help his love can give to lighten the burden, to quiet the trembling heart and to impart strength, and peace.” ~J.R. Miller
Rich’s flight leaves at 8 this morning, so I’ve already been up for a while, spending time with him as he got ready to leave on a business trip. He is flying to California today, and will be gone until Friday. Rich works a lot, and gets home around 6:30 or 7 (sometimes later) every night. I think I have probably mentioned before, that I need him near me for a certain amount of time in order to feel strong and secure. I am not an independant woman, I need my husband’s love and protection a great deal. Sometimes the fact that he works so much causes friction between us and I start thinking of his job as “The Enemy”, rather than a blessing from God (which it is). Rich’s job, and his work ethic is a gift which enables me to be a stay at home Mom, and he provides the extra money to be able to do things that “once upon a time” we couldn’t do (like nice vacations, buying groceries with confidence *there is enough money in our checking account*, nice day-trips with the kids, going out to eat, new maternity clothes, etc).
So, our marriage is a give and take, there is a constant tension *not a bad thing*, because tension makes us work harder at finding that balance, making sure we nurture our relationship.
Rich is an encouragment to me. He is not a big talker, but his silent strength is encouragment enough. He never complains about anything that I do, but if the house is especially nice he will always mention it. A good meal never fails to bring words of praise. (*smile*) He never ever worries about the children, or checks up on me to makes sure I am doing what I’m supposed to do with them! I find that amazing. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he just knows that I’ll take care of them. Wow, thinking about this is making me feel so humbled, and motivating me to do better and try harder!
I think the best thing that Rich does for me these days, which are full of mothering-tasks, is allowing me to rest and take breaks when I need to. In fact, there are many times that he encourages me to go out in the evenings–and I don’t take him up on it! (too tired, really). But, if I need a break, or some quiet, some time alone, he is always more than willing to let me go and do what I need to do.
Yesterday, after church and after lunch, I went to Barnes and Noble for H-O-U-R-S. I picked out a pile of books, sat myself down in a chair, and just leafed through books. It was very refreshing, to say the least!
When I got home, the house was clean.
I’m so thankful for my husband. Sure, we have our ups and downs, just like any other couple. There are times when we don’t understand each other at.all. But, generally speaking, the Lord has given us a beautiful marriage, one that I can rest in, and feel protected and secure in. I trust Rich with my life, with everything.
Yesterday evening, after I got back from the bookstore, I sat on the porch and watched the family play football. I took some pictures, and when I look at them, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my life, the way it is, right now.
“It is a happy art, the art of living together in tender love.” ~J.R. Miller~
Have a great day, everyone!
I’m off, to go get a small boy ready for a day of Kindergarten. . . . . .
Love ~Shanda~
PS. I just had to hop back on to record this memory—Today was the very first morning that David waved and waved to me, keeping his eyes on me, until he was out of sight, through the bus window. His face looked so cheerful and small, I almost started crying. What a wonderful boy. I’m glad I made him his requested breakfast—scrambled eggs w/cheese. The rest of the children had french toast. 
Good to be Home 
Praying your week will fly by smoothly. You do a good job of looking on the positives and not dwelling on the hard stuff. That’s a strong woman.
I remember being right where you are – a busy, good, and godly husband and a housefull of young children. I know how important it is to journal a post like this in the middle of a busy life, and it reminded me to thank the Lord for my fabulous life and family (even though it is busy and unnerving at moments).
You said it so well! I’ve learned that my great marriage is allowed to have tension and disagreement because we’re committed and strong enough to handle it. Hope your week will be filled with blessings.
This post is BEAUTIFUL, and so is your family in these pictures. I LOVE the last one of Rich and the kids on the grass. Looking at that may help you get through the next few days while your hubby is gone!I recognize these quotes by J.R. Miller – from the book Homemaking, right? Excellent stuff! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on marriage and about Rich. PRECIOUS!!! Rich is a wonderful husband, and I can also see why he loves and cherishes you so much!
Very sweet photos and words. I too feel so blessed in having a wonderful husband. Not a perfect man, but I am not a perfect woman! We just fit together and it is so right. I pray that your big boys will follow Dad’s example and while he is away, they will help all they can. Let them read this, and tell them that an old lady in Denmark knows they can do it!
I love your photos especially the last one. Thanks for sharing a little of your marriage relationship. I can relate so much and great quote from J R Miller. My husband also works very long hours and I miss him not being at home with us but it is a blessing he has a very good job.
I must jump on this bandwagon!! My husband sounds a lot like yours! He’s SOOO helpful and never makes me feel bad if things aren’t “just so”. He doesn’t question my parenting or anything of the sort. He’s a constant support. I’m so thankful. I know not everyone has this blessing; I am incredibly thankful and humbled that I am blessed in this manner.
Also, I was going to say that I love the pics of your kids playing together, and how Rich is a good father too. I see that in Dave. I never fear leaving the kids with him. He is a good dad and knows how to take care of them. I never worry when he’s with them. He knows them nearly as good as I do! š
Thanks for sharing from your heart. I’ll keep you in my prayers this week. As a mother of 5 too I can’t imagine having my husband gone for a week. (he did go for a week to TX. to help rebuild houses and we did “OK”), It is so nice to know that another adult is coming for my relief in the evening:).
Blessings to you. You bless me with your blog.
My hubby just left for 2 weeks. š¦ So I’ll be hanging in there with you. š Where do you get Grace’s dresses? She always looks so sweet and pretty. Are they Hanna Andersson?
I am so thankful that you post things like this. I feel at times the same way about my husband’s job. I need to be thankful for being able to stay at home with the kids, which I am. But I have the same feelings you do. Especially when he travels. It’s very nice that Rich does those things for you. You are a lovely wife & mother and you can tell that reflects in your family. I would love to be able to sit in a bookstore for a few hours to:) Have a wonderful day!
As I sit in a motel room on a business trip with dh, I smile and wish for some of that french toast ~ and maybe some orange juice. The motel didn’t have much on the breakfast bar and they were out of oj ~ Have a happy day, Shanda ~
You are much sronger and independent than you think, if you spent time in Barnes and Noble Bookstore and didn’t come home with an armful of books! LOL I call that VERY STRONG!!!
Aw…I almost cried picturing David waving from the back window of the bus!!!! Awwwwww……..*gushing with smiles* You are so very blessed to be able to have a husband that is 1. a man of little words (LOL) 2. a man that provides and sustains his family 3. that you feel safe and secure with him…that your not the one having to be the strength and ‘brains’ of the duo. 4. that your children are learning the way a godly marriage is. š
Ive a pictures of my man and our older five just like the one at the bottom w/ the football and all lying down on the grass~ š It’s a wonderful shot! What fun! Blessings to you friend on this Monday — I’ve a feeling our children would have a delightful time together doing all those outdoor wonders that they love~ maybe one day š God be with you as you love those little people in your life.lys
I remember those busy days raising children and I too had (and still have) a very supportive husband — what a blessing! Your two boys in their green striped shirts look like a mirror reflection!! Have a great day.
I loved the boys in their green shirts yesterday, and Grace’s red shoes…so cute! I’m glad you got a chance to get out and relax, that sounds marvelous. That last picture of the family is so delightful, it made me smile. Alex is very sweet getting on the bus, too, he hugs me really fast and then smiles and waves as the bus pulls away. When oh when did our boys grow up?? I hope you have a great day, my friend. Love you.
A supportive husband is such a blessing. Mine is letting me go out for some much needed alone time tonight. I love the pictures of Caleb in his undies and church shirt. LOL! Very sweet. It’s real life at its best.Jake made me laugh yesterday during communion. His expression and comment “what was that??” after drinking the juice cracked me up. Josh accidentally bought “light” grape juice. I agree, Jake, it did taste funny. š
You are such a beautiful person. Thank you for being you. You are a silent encourager in my life. Thank you!
Praying for you this week…for extra grace and strength. So wonderful to love our husbands and appreciate them…isn’t it? The last picture laying down is one of the best I have seen with Rich and the children …it is just wonderful. I love all the faces and expressions in the other ones too. Such a sweet beginning quote. Made me think of my husband. He was very tender and told me I was sweet because I love people so much. He was being especially gentle and loving because he knew my heart was hurting saying goodbye to the boys and their wives. That thoughtfulness is so helpful!! blessings to you and yours! Jenny
I like your post. It is hard when our husbands work very long hours to provide for our families. I can relate to you in this area. I love the picture of the family on the grass. Only one thing missing……YOU. I pray that the Lord is with you while Rich is away and he gives you much energy to sustain your week.
I will be praying for you this week as Rich is gone. I know how much you need him and depend on him. Your pictures are great- so REAL. You even put the one of Davy having a rough moment during the football game in. I love the pic of your hubby and kids! You are truly blessed, and so am I. I was just thanking the Lord for my wonderful husband last night!
Praying your week will go quickly…i always hated when my hubby was gone ~ still do. i see it in my grandparents that have been married 70 years and now with my grandfather’s illness.
Thanks for sharing your heart………I agree with the others that you are stronger than you think you are. It’s very encouraging to hear you speak about what a great husband you have………..sometimes I think we get so busy in our lives that we forget to take the time to appreciate our husbands. Thanks for the reminder. Blessings.
I LOVE the action pictures…. and how you were able to capture so much emotion (mostly joy and smiles, but some tears, too!) The two oldest boys matching, Grace playing quietly, the youngest with no britches on, Davy-do with no shirt, and your husband focused as he throws the ball… they are all great God has so richly blessed you with a wonderful, beautiful family.
Great pictures. Praying your week goes by quickly. As an Army wife, I am used to the separations due to work. I don’t like them, but I deal with them. Honestly, our house runs smoother when Daddy comes home from work and can interact with the kiddos. Here is my advice, take it one day, one moment at a time. Big hugsMelody
Have a quick, relaxed week while Rich is away — and be glad that he’s only gone these few days! This is a lovely post — and that last picture should bring you lots of joy when things get a little rough…
Shan, this post brought me to tears. I loved all the pictures of your family and gratitude in your words. The last part about David is so sweet. I love you and hope you’re having a great Tuesday!
Wonderful!We need to get your team and “resolve to worships” team together for a photo shoot!but I don’t know if I could handle so much JOY
I would so love to be there at Borders with you for HOURS!!!!!!!!!
The last picture with the kids laying in the grass is so nice, and the quote went with it so well!
Glad as always that he takes such good care of you!
i almost like it when i miss several of your posts… then it’s like sitting down with a good magazine and flipping through! :)i understand the “tension” you mentioned about R.s work schedule… S. and i were just talking last night about the need to stay connected and close even when at times it seems physically impossible w/ his work. football practice. church. etc. etc. etc. i’m with you on feeling a tremendous NEED to have my husband near me… and i think it’s important for us to always communicate that to them. i always tell S. “aren’t you glad i’m not one of these women that pushes her husband out the door… and is glad to see him go!!” š i think when our men know we love having them around it makes coming home that much more exciting and wonderful! appreciate your honesty about your feelings~ very normal and real!! love the football shots – football is definitely in the air everywhere!!! the last one of your brood is sweet. i’d frame it.