Great thoughts on raising our children from you older ladies. I was so very blessed, and tears streamed down my face as I read all you mothers explain your different experiences. Thank you so much for taking the time to answer so thoughtfully. I will be going back to read again and again.
One of the things that stood out to me was the advice to make sure that we keep our marriages alive. To keep our husbands as our #1 priority, over the children. Our children need to feel the safety of a strong parental relationship.
For the past month or so, God has been working in my heart when it comes to Rich. He’s shown me some things that I was still clinging to in my own life (selfish ideas). He showed me that I am still trying to change Rich in some ways, instead of changing myself to compliment him and his personality. He showed me that I need to give more to my husband and to stop thinking of what Rich can do for ME.
There are many little opportunities throughout each day that I can take advantage of, to show my husband that I care.
It’s been a blessing. I’ve repented of some selfish behavior, and Rich has noticed a difference. In turn, he has been showering me with a lot more attention and thoughtfulness, too. He would do anything for me, if he could.
What a difference attitude makes. Attitude and a willingness to live for another person out of love and out of a desire to please God.
I have given my life to God. . . and to my husband. My own agenda is back-seat. I find so much more fulfillment in studying my man than trying to figure out new ways to make myself happier.
What am I doing anyway? I’m taking care of HIS house, HIS children, HIS needs. When I think of it that way, a new tenderness comes into my heart. . .I want to make him proud, to make him happy to come home at night, to train our children to be a joy to him.
This morning Rich gave me, as always, a kiss before he left for work. But, he also turned around at the bedroom door and said, “You remember me today, and I will remember you.”
So sweet. I like that. We will both be busy with our duties, but in our minds we will be thinking of each other and remembering each other.
When we were in FL, we took advantage of the resort’s child care and we WENT ON A DATE.
It was so wonderful. We laughed and talked and spent our time at the bookstore and getting ice cream.
The laughter is what I remember the most.
After 11 years of “How to be a Good Mom”, I’m putting myself through a refresher course on “How to be a Good Wife.” I am a book-person, but in this case I plan on studying my real-life husband, my Bible (which is TRUTH), and my own common sense (with a prayerful attitude). I’ve been learning another lesson–that sometimes my books put way too many ideas in my head. I’m going to read less “how to” type books. Call it “simplification for Shanda’s brain.” In this case, a good thing. 
Good to be Home 
You and your husband are God’s gift to each other. Bless you both!
I totally understand what you mean about books putting too many ideas in your head. That happened to me with homeschooling and I about drove myself to the point of giving up- because I felt like there were key elements that I was failing out- and the book made it sound SO EASY!!! (LOL) What a blessing you have in your husband- and he in you!! I love reading about that. What a blessed lady you are!
I love this post. I can glean from it, and use it in my own marriage. There’s too much swirling in my head to say anything really worthwhile, so I’ll stop.
Ah, my dear, you’ve learned the secret of a happy family! A child does well when he realizes that the family doesn’t revolve around him, but that the children revolve around the parents. In case you don’t make it to my site today, please don’t miss this link and video: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/24537885/?GT1=43001
What a wonderful post! Thank you, Shanda! I’ve been thinking along those very lines myself recently, and now I have more to pray about in that area. I’m so glad that the Lord inspired you to post those words.
Beautiful post! Funny how God puts themes before you repeatedly until you get it… This morning, my devotion time led me to this same conclusion… be more of an encouragement to my husband! Thanks for posting!
God bless you!
Thank you for posting that specific line about studying your man instead of finding new ways to make yourself happier. I’ve had some thoughts about happiness rolling around in my head lately and this is now another “marble” up there. The world keeps telling us to be happy, but it really isn’t the final goal in life…
This is something I’m trying to work on in my own life, too. It’s nice to know there are others in the same situation.
Boy am I glad you posted about this. I have been thinking about this alot lately for myself. I was focused on the last 13 years trying to change my husband’s ways. You would think I would have figured it out sooner that it won’t happen:) I have seen that by letting go of that and focusing more on him that things have changed. I have a long way to go, so it’s so nice to know that we can do it together! That is great that you were able to have a date night like that! We are doing that Saturday night. The YMCA has a parent’s night out so I signed up all 3 kids so we can do something together, we are both looking forward to it! I hope you have a wonderful day! Thank you & God Bless you for opening up about such personal things. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about how much before I didn’t let my husband know how lucky we are to have him, taking him for granted way to much. Sorry didn’t mean for this to be so long:)
Great thoughts, Shan! I know what you mean about books putting too many thoughts in your head- that happens to me too, especially with homeschooling. Thanks for the reminder that as busy “moms”, we still need to put our husbands before our kids. I could say so much more, but I will stop here. Hope you have a great day!
This is a great reminder. So much of my time is spent focusing on what I can do with the kids and my husband gets left out. I need to remember that I am a wife first, then a mother. But I too need to remember to keep it simple instead of trying to do so many new ideas.
This is one piece of advice we give to young couples who are getting married. I’m still “practicing” myself. You received some great comments yesterday….I’m sure we all benefited from them.
Thank you so much for sharing this Shan! I know that God is very pleased with this change in you and I know your family will be so blessed by it, even more than they are now, to have you!
Great post! Keep on growing girl!!!
PS – I LOVE THOSE QUILTS.
Suz
Excellent post! I’m going to send it to my Bri to think on. AND I’m going to ask God to help me remember these thoughts too
Wow Shanda! Thanks for sharing that. God has been trying to change my attitude towards my husband too……if I will let him. I am so stubborn! I am going to take your advise and change my sttitude to compliment Mike! I can see a Big difference already. (HUGS)
Wow, that’s very convicting for me. I know I take my husband (and his love for me) for granted. . .and how foolish because I come from a home where a parent put the children first and the marriage dissolved and ended in divorce. You’d think I’d know better. . . It’s been almost 12 years for us, and I do love him even more now than the day I said, “I do!!”. I need to SHOW him more and TELL him often how amazing he is and what he means to me and all of us. I’m a stubborn, tough nut to crack, this I know. . .like the last comment posted, I need to let God do His work in my heart and life, as I know He’s longing to do. Thanks and have a great weekend—
I love what he said to you at the door!!! Love it, that was the sweetest thing!
funny I should bump into this post today…I’ve had a busy day and just sat down for a bit of “something other than work” while the chicken bakes int he oven. This post really spoke to me and it fills a need I have today! Thankyou so much! I too will work on this very thing..to love my husband for who he is instead of trying to make him whom I THINK he should be and you’re right…whenever I do that and seek ways to compliment his personality I am so much happier!