Pastor’s sermon today was EXCELLENT!! Oh, I am so grateful to God for our new Pastor. I could listen to his preaching all day long. It is amazing what God is doing in my heart, I just praise Him, now and forever!
Let me just share one small point that Pastor made. He said, that the closer we are to Christ, the more aware we are of our own sins and need for Him. You see, we all have a tendency to self-righteousness and we know that it is happening when we spend more time exalting ourselves rather than focusing on our utter need for Christ, our Saviour. But a person close to Christ will not be like that, she will be humble and she will know she is a sinner, still needing God’s forgiveness and grace, and won’t try to hide that fact.
Pastor said that his own Grandma was a saved lady and in his eyes, a beautiful Christian. She is passed away now, and he has her personal prayer journal. He said it is full of sorrow over her own sins. Not in a morbid way, but in an awareness that she needed God’s grace constantly in her life.
The story reminded me of something I read recently about Mother Theresa. She, too, battled with her flesh constantly–that inward struggle of fighting against personal failings and sins. With all her outward goodness, she knew her heart was still wretched apart from Christ.
Rich’s grandma is that way, too. She is 90 years old. I sang her praises on my blog in November, and what did she do when she read it? She wrote to me, saying, “Don’t forget I’m a sinner like the worst of them”.
The apostle Paul said he was “the chief of all sinners”.
Today, on the way home from church, I read this in John Bunyan’s book, Grace Abounding. Remember, John Bunyan was the man who wrote Pilgrim’s Progress, that great Christian classic.
“I find to this day seven abominations in my heart:
1. An inclining to unbelief, (me too, me too!)
2. Suddenly to forget the love and mercy that Christ manifests, (I do that, too!)
2. A leaning to the works of the law, (oh, yes, that one, too!)
3. Wanderings and coldness in prayer, (**sigh**, almost everyday!)
5. To forget to watch for what I pray for, (yes, that too, I forget to look for the answer, did I really believe He would hear me?)
6. Aptness to murmur because I have no more, and yet ready to abuse what I have, (yep!) and
7. I can do none of those things that God commands me without my corrruptions thrusting themselves in. “I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me” Romans 7:21 (I understand! So many times I fail throughout the day!)
There is hope! Listen,
“These things I continually see and feel, and am afflicted and oppressed with, yet the wisdom of God does order them for my good:
1. They make me abhor myself; (praise God!)
2. They keep me from trusting my heart; (praise God!)
3. They convince me of the insufficiency of all inherent righteousness; (praise God, for I could never be righteous enough!)
4. They show me the necessity of flying to Jesus; (yes, I need Him!)
5. They press me to pray to God; (every hour of every day!)
6. They show me the need I have to watch and be sober; and
7. They provoke me to pray unto God, through Christ, to help me and carry me through the world.”
AMEN!
As believers, we still sin! Don’t let anyone fool you, we all still have a sin nature that we battle against each day. It’s only because we are clothed in Christ’s righteousness (not our own, praise God!) that we are not in despair. We have hope because of Christ, we have forgiveness because of His shed blood. We still, as Christians, need to be confessing our sin to Him and to each other.
Naught have I gotten but what I received;
Grace hath bestowed it since I have believed;
Boasting excluded, pride I abase;
I’m only a sinner, saved by grace!
Well, you might ask. . what’s all the excitement over being a sinner? Why is Shanda so happy about this? Well, it is because I have tried to be perfect! I was told, years ago, by Christian leaders, that in order to be a good example to the church, that I should “be perfect” (those exact words were not used, this was done over time, in a seemingly sincere and sweet way). . .and train my children to be and look as perfect as possible, too! For instance, no stains on shirts, instant obedience, sitting as still as possible during a service, etc! Uggh! I was told that it was wrong to show people that I was having a bad day, if I was asked “How are you?” I had better give a positive answer. If I was singing a hymn, it better be with a big happy smile on my face. I was encouraged to dress a certain way, act a certain way, etc, all so that I would be a good leader in the church (my husband was/is a deacon). My house should be perfectly clean at all times, too. On and on, so on and so forth . It got so I felt like I couldn’t even cut my hair without wondering how it would effect people in the church. In short, I was living my life for men (or out of fear of man), and not God. And I take full responsibility for that, and I do not blame anyone.
I just want to be “Shanda, Sinner Saved by Grace”. My friends will love me even when they find out that I have sin issues. LOL After all, my husband and children sure do! Listen, I love having a clean house, and I love my children to be neat and clean. I find people who “let their problems all hang out” to be draining. But, nowadays, my motives for my actions are for the glory of God.
And if you read all this, I thank you. Forgive me if I did not make sense! It’s hard to express myself sometimes, but I wanted to try, just in case what God is doing in my own life is an encouragement to one of you.
Good to be Home 
This is so good. We all need reminding of what we’ve been saved from (are being saved from!). I’ve seen the other side of this too when I was growing up. It was the idea that I’m scum, I’m a worm, I’m nothing. Over the past several years, it has been neat to ACCEPT the love of God in such a way that I recognize my need for Him and how great His love is towards me! For so long, I tried to perform for God; I tried to make Him happy. I really didn’t realize He already WAS happy and pleased with me because of Christ! I rejoice in the freedom I’ve found in Him and the way that He reminds me that when He sees me, He sees His Son! Praise God!
@Geidlbots – Thank you for sharing that, it is so so true! Yes we are sinners, but when Christ saves us we are God’s precious children! He loves us!
You articulated yourself quite well…and I understood what you said. It DID encourage me…thank you. Last week a visiting preacher said this, “There are two kinds of people: Unsaved sinners and saved sinners.”As saved sinners we still need God’s grace…daily. In my profile I said that I am not perfect…just forgiven.It will stand to be true until I AM perfect….in the presence of my Lord. Daily reminder of our sin also reminds us of His continual tender mercies that are new every morning. (like you said the other day) Rest up this weekend.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts… during this Passion Week, I recall all of what Jesus did for me.. “Alas, and did my Savior bleed, and did my Sovereign die; Did He devote that sacred head for sinners such as I… At the cross, at the cross, where I first saw the light; and the burden of my heart rolled away; It was there by faith, I received my sight, and now I am happy all the day….” He didn’t have to do that–but He did! Praise the Lord!
“This is my story, to God be the glory, I’m only a sinner, saved by grace.” Amen, and thank you for sharing this. I understood what you were saying. If we could be “good enough” or “perfect” there would have been no need of a Saviour. I’m so thankful that God loved us sinners enough to send his Son to pay our price!
This was an encouragment to me Shan! I struggle with a lot of the same thoughts and sin –we talked about that awhile back–and we are just simply sinners saved by grace. I am so grateful for our saviour and redeemer! He truly is the ONLY WAY! Love you Shan!
Amen! And thanks, Shanda, for speaking out! I suppose the fear of men is something we’ll find the world over, and can become a stumbling block to joyful living in Christ…
thanks too for the reminder that we all fail, every day!! It’s nice to know that we’re not alone in our struggles…only sinners saved by grace….
very well said. I think so many of us were in those situations – the focus being to please others. It is a difficult burden to release. It means letting go of who we think we are in Christ. It’s wonderful, too, because then we must go back to the Word and search again to see who we really are. Anything that sends us running to God’s Word is a good thing for us!
I needed that. Thank you,
That was very encouraging. So much of the time I try to complete all of my goals during the day under my own power and that just does not work. We can try but it will never work. We have to depend on him to truly become the person he wants us to be. By ourselves we are only sinners but with God we are sinners saved by grace. This is so good to remember. Thank you. I hope you have a wonderful day with your family.
AMEN! AMEN!! AMEN!!! Such a beautiful post, thank you for sharing it with us. I too was taught as you and broke free from that a year ago, very refreshing to just be yourself isn’t it?
Yes, Yes Yes! me too, I need God so much in my life. How miserable I would be without His grace.If I am able to show love and being loving today it is ONLY because I set aside my pride long ago and accepted Christ into my life!I am so different form that angry, hopeless and bitter young woman that rejected Jesus and God because of my religious upbringing that taught perfection more then forgiveness and grace
wow, yes what an encouragement! I especially love the part about your experience with being “perfect” I too was in a situation where I was encouraged to “be fake” if you will….it still troubles me daily, I still worry about what people think about me, my kids, my family, my house….you name it I am often worried what people think about it.
I too, want to be “Heather, sinner saved by grace”….
Thank you for blessing me today!
That was an excellent sermon. I will be mulling that one for a long time. Praise God for His grace! I can not imagine where I would be without it.
Well, I think I need to ask Jen for a CD of this morning’s sermon, since I missed it. Sounds like I missed an awesome one. I know what you mean about having been made to feel like we need to be perfect, I’m so glad I don’t live my life like that anymore. I’m certainly not perfect, and God knows that…I’m definitely a sinner saved by grace.
You are making perfect sense and I cannot believe what those church leaders told you! Unreal! #3 in your first list about wanderings and coldness in prayer causes me extreme distress ~ it seems to be rather a constant with me and I so wish I knew how to fix it ~ it is so very, very frustrating to have my mind just going all over the place, even in the middle of thoughts and sentences I am praying! Many times, I come back from wherever my mind has wandered and wonder what I was saying ~ oh, how it must sadden Him to know I can’t even retain Him in my thoughts and prayers for the space of one sentence! What to do? I am so grateful that He knows my weaknesses and loves me anyway ~ praise His Name!
You expressed yourself very well indeed! I personally have been done with the whole image thang, ‘cuz I am just a sinner! I’m-a-tryin’, but a sinner none-the-less. What a wonderful reminder and so happy you are being fed by your new shepherd! Praise the Lord!
God is indeed an awesome God! And He loves us so much!!
Been there….Thanks for this post, Shanda!Well written.
I think you made perfect sense and expressed yourself very well. I read this yesterday, in a moment of discouragement over personal failings, and it was just the WORD I needed; thank you for taking the time to share. The excerpts from John Bunyan’s book were particularly encouraging, as well as what you mentioned about your pastor’s and Rich’s grandmothers. Oh, and that hymn – we used to sing that in family devotions when I was growing up! An old hymn; I’m not sure I’ve ever heard it in church.
It is the Shanda, Sinner Saved by Grace, who I love to come visit here. I love being right there in her boat with her! Legalistic perfection only drives the needy away…the souls hungry for Christ. Thank you for your honesty Shanda. This whole post made sense all the way till the end. I am printing some of it…those 14 self observation excerpts of John Bunyan’s… and keeping them in my Bible.I want to read that book….*puts it on the never ending list* May the Lord richly bless you today and every day!Love, Susan
You and your posts are always an encouragement to me!
This was a great post because it came from the depths of your heart. You know, I find that even those “perfect” people, are only perfect on the surface. We might see what they want us to see, but God sees the “Sinner Saved By Grace” undnerneath all that. He sees the failings and miserable attempts to serve that others might not see. He sees the bad attitudes and unforgiveness hidden in hearts, yet, He loves all of us, anyway. He made us all to be our perfect selves, which is the faulty human being He made us, with the original personality that He gave us. He just wants us to be ourselves, controlled by the Spirit, and to serve Him willingly with a joyful heart.
Holy cow; someone put some heavy undue stress on you that is akin to abuse. Don’t you suppose that at times Jesus had wine stains on his robe? Do you think Jesus refused to go into a home that wasn’t all tidy? How wonderful it is that HE WHO MATTERS does not make the demands on us that your church leader did. That sounds like a sure way to provoke people to nervous breakdowns. I shudder at the thought. My Jesus welcomes those without shoes, with dirty tattered clothes, with a pig sty of a home. I’ll admit order is nice and helps our outlook, but it’s not a prerequisite for the Grace of God.
@fratmom – AMEN! Thank you.
How many times have I sung a hymn (really sung it ~ from my heart) and had to fight back tears because of the enormity of God’s grace to me? It amazes me that each and every day I fail Him, sometimes in big ways and sometimes in small ways, but He is still always there, stretching out His arms of grace to me. I am so glad that I do not have to repay His love with works, for in myself I could never ever do enough! I think of the stanza I love…
‘Could we with ink the ocean fill, And were the skies of parchment made;
Were every stalk on earth a quill, And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole, Though stretched from sky to sky.’
I’m so sorry that you had to experience treatment like that, within a church of all places! I’m glad that it is no longer the case. I know for myself, even though I too love a clean home, I’d rather be spending time with my children and encouraging them to learn and to live than always be running behind them with a sponge and a paper towel! There are so many more important things in life and to our testimonies as Christians. Thank you for sharing your heart today! I know it touched a chord in more than just me. Love, H
@homemadejoys – we just sang that hymn in church yesterday and I almost cried, it’s definately a favorite. It makes my heart soar. God’s grace, mercy, and love are more real and special to me now than every before.
Good post, well stated. Been there, done that, thought that!! How wonderful is that freedom when we let Christ truly set us free!
Good morning Shanda!! I just read some of your archives: “crazy lunch” and others. This post here was wonderful. I too just want to be me……..not pretentious in any way to exalt myself or be bound by man!
Have a great day!
@momto9 – I love it that my older posts are still being read! I’m glad you enjoyed….crazy lunch STILL makes me chuckle when I read it. xoxo, Shan