Rich had to work late last night.
So at about 4:30 I cleaned up my kitchen,
while the kids watched a video about Japan,
and Caleb, my shadow, was perched on the counter next to the sink (where I was standing).
I decided to take them to McDonald’s for dinner.
There is one not too far away that has one of those indoor play-scapes.
So we went, it’s been a long time since we’ve gone to a play-scape,
And Jacob was thrilled that he could still play (12 yrs old is the limit).
He and Ethan, of course, turned it into a game of “spy”.
Caleb managed just fine, despite his big sister’s over-the-top “help”.
David, of course, made new friends left and right.
One little boy was missing a hand.
And I thanked God, that my kids all had their hands.
The little boy was great, no one noticed his disability.
When he left, my kids leaned into me and said,
“That was such a nice boy!”
They didn’t say one word about his hand.
Children can be so beautiful. . . . .
Anyway, they ate their fries and chicken.
David was too busy to fill himself up so when we got home,
out came the crackers.
They all complained when I stopped their movie at 8pm.
But, I had to, I was TIRED, and ready for bed myself!
Unfortunately,
the last thing they all heard before sleep,
was me yelling.
8:30 came and I was till trying to get them to settle down.
Caleb kept getting out of his crib,
and Jacob and E decided this would be the night they taught the dog to sleep with them.
It ended in a disaster–he peed on Ethan’s guitar case–
I was so mad, I yelled the whole time that I was scrub-scrub-scrubbing.
Caleb actually popped the side of his crib off,
and I got mad and yelled as I struggled to fix it.
(we’ll be putting him in a bed, soon)
I even yelled at David, who was just looking at me from under his covers. Like this 
I said, “ARE YOU TELLING CALEB TO GET OUT OF BED??”
(He shook his head no)
“TURN AROUND AND FACE THE WALL!!”
“GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!”
“I HATE THAT DOG! HE HAS TO GO!!!”
Those were (some of) the words my poor children had to hear right before sleep last night.
Of course once things settled down, I felt sad, and spent some time writing in my journal
and letting the Lord fix my bad attitude.
Then I got in bed and read a book and fell asleep early. I do have my limitations!
Today is a new day!
Caleb, still my shadow, is standing next to me as I type,
with his head in my lap,
and a choo-choo in his hand.
When I stop to think about what to write, I rub his back,
or stroke his soft cheek,
or touch his hair (which has a crusty spot from him dumping chocolate milk on his head yesterday).
Last night I had had ENOUGH.
Today I will try to pace myself better and by God’s grace, keep my cool.
My heart belongs to my family and my children, I love them so.
These are photos that I took of David and Caleb yesterday morning, after my battery had charged.
I didn’t even write about cleaning up a big bowl of dumped cat food (twice) and not finding the dust pan.
(NO ONE knows where it went). . . .
Or the entire Nestle chocolate milk mix that was dumped upside down on the table.
Or bursting into tears when I was trying to read to the kids and Jacob complained, “I already read this”
Or when the dog knocked me over backwards out in the woods when I called him out of a shot.
Or discovering the driveway was scattered with those. . .packing peanuts. . . .
etc, etc,
Yesterday I got totally irritated over the little problems of motherhood.
Today I hope to be more positive!
Good to be Home 
Shanda, I can relate to everything in this post as I’m sure all moms can! You are such an encouragement. My favorite part of this post was when you said you went & wrote in your journal, letting God deal with your attitude. Rather then stewing about how hard the day was, you made sure it was not going to happen again anytime soon. Praise God for that!
Thinking of you today, enjoy your kiddos!!!
I hope today goes much better for you! I can completely relate to you, having 2 dogs, 2 cats, 1 child and a husband it feels like somedays all I am doing is yelling. But when I get up the next morning I remember it is a new day and I can laugh about the previous one. If it makes you feel any better Makayla pooped in the tub last and clogged the drain. Love you, Melissa
here’s hoping for a brighter day!!!
(and I’m glad I’m not the only one who has those fits of frustration…..=/)
Whew! Some days are like that, though. I know there were times I had to apoligize to my kids because I lost my cool. I wasn’t liking myself very much when I behaved that way! Isn’t it wonderful when God gives us another new day and a new chance?
I know the pain of losing it, and the the last thing the kids here is my yelling. Sigh… My little guy looks so disheartened when it happens (although most of the time it is HIM that rattles my chain), and I feel bad. I think to when they are grown, and how much I will miss even THIS moment of being upset.And how many times have I told my kids that the puppy MUST go somewhere else since he isn’t potty trained??Yep, I lose it too.God makes all things new, and his blessings are new each morning. You have an amazing family, and are such an inspiration to many Have a great day!!
Good Morning! I just recently started reading your blog (at the recommendation of Mary aka broncomom) and had to tell you how refreshing it’s been. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only Christian Mom out there that, in spite of trying to put their best foot forward, isn’t always able to keep their cool. We’re getting our house ready to put on the market and stress has been at an all time high. I only have two children, but they’ve been enough to cause some late evening yelling that I’ve regretted. God bless you for sharing your heart and I so appreciate your honesty. Praise God for clean slates and fresh mornings!
Don’t forget. As small as they look, those little boogers are very durable. They can handle a lot more than we think!!!! Including our imperfections.
you have perfectly described many days here- sometimes the accumulation of the day’s events are just toooo much! but how exciting to have a new day from the LORD to depend on Him for our strength- I’ve apologized to my kids many times and I am always so thankful for their short memories! God bless your day.
Mamma said there’d be days like this….I pray that today is a much better day for you.
I feel your pain. I did a lot of yelling yesterday. I disciplined in anger. It was an awful mothering day. I really want to be able to walk in the Spirit–especially in this area of parenting! My flesh is so spoiled. I hope we both have better days!
Josh didn’t get home until nearly 9:00 p.m. (after leaving before 5:00 a.m.) on Monday and I had a day like that. I was so ready to just get a job and let someone else raise my children. But yesterday was better, and today I hope will be better, too. Thank goodness we have a forgiving God and forgiving children. I’m sure they had forgotten all about your yelling by the time morning rolled around.And I am always threatening to kick Fenway out, but somehow he’s still here. 😉
Oh help. “These truly are the wonder years”??? It sounds so funny later, but at the time you just can’t find the humor. Blessings for a better day.
Your honesty is so refreshing -and encouraging! We all have days like that and yet no one seems to talk about them. Thank you
Today… it will be a good one for sure!
Oh Shanda! I had a terrible day like this last Tuesday!! (Maybe we should watch out for Tuesdays?!) I only have one child, but somehow in the midst of my day things get amplified, and I feel like I can empathize with your day yesterday. Praise God for fresh starts, and the fact that His mercies are new every morning!! Great is His faithfulness!!
Oh my goodness. I really needed to read this. This sounds like my life! It’s always something, with little ones underfoot, huh? I like how you refer to Caleb as your “shadow”. My 3rd child, who was the youngest for the first 4 years of her life was my shadow (she’s almost 6 now). Now the current (and final!) youngest is my shadow, LOL. He is always with me, lol. I laughed because I use the same term, hehe.
Anyway, I pray that today will be so much better for you. One thing I admire about you is how you run to the LORD when you’re in distress. I don’t do that nearly enough. I need to. Reminds of this hymm:
“Where could I go, O where could I go
seeking a refuge for my soul.
Needing a friend to save me in the end
Where could I go, but to the LORD”
Thank you for being so real.
I’ll be praying for you!
Thank you for being so honest and open about your feelings and the challenges that you face… it is an encouragment to see how even when you stumble, you get back up (on your knees!) go to God, give him all your burdens, and move on
Today will be better. Love you.
We are only human, Shanda. You sound like me. I too love my kids with all that I am, but I have my moments when I can react in anger and say things I do not mean. What is wonderful though is that you went to the Lord and opened up to Him. I am proud of you for that. Each day is a new day and His mercies are new every morning.
Well, I’m not sure if you have read my blog from last night, but we had very similar days yesterday. I turned into a person that made me very sad, because I was yelling and frustrated at every turn. I too spent time praying and asking God to change my heart, and today I am going to have a better day. I hope yours goes well, too. Love you.
Smiling with tears in my eyes, been there…AND I only had one child! Motherhood, truly one of the hardest jobs in the world, because it is every day, 24/7, with few breaks. Thank God for God’s grace, strength and constant presence…He also made children so darn cute for a reason!
Sounds like one of those common days where multitasking and dancing from room to room would have done absolutely no good! At least you didn’t say the children would have to go and the dog could stay! There are times when I make “everything” off limits. No one is allowed to “help” in the kitchen, no one is allowed to “help” clean the bathroom sinks, no one is allowed to “help” the other get a snack, no one is allowed to “help” let the dog out, no one is allowed to “help” by changing tv channels . . . It’s just better to quarantine them to an area and let me do the “helping” to, hopefully, minimize the chaos. And those bed time threats . . . been there, too! “Don’t look at each other! Roll on your side and close your eyes and lips!” sneered the gestapo parent!
Awww….Shanda, bless your heart. These days will pass and I guarantee you most of us can relate. : )
Sometimes we just get tired and say things in a way that is just not us. It’s horrible I know. Sometimes I wish I had a little alarm that told me…”Catuion…you are tired” I don’t know about you, but many times I don’t realize it when I am just plain tired. I get mad at myself when I do that.
I too have had to apologize to my kids before more than once and of recent too…in fact I probably owe them an apology for a bad attitude I portrayed last week.
Love to you Shanda, you are a blessing because you dare to be real. Big hugs. ~Amelia
Oops…that should read “Caution” (I must be tired) lol
You mean I’m not the only mom out there who has days like that? Oh girl, I cried when I read this because it is so hard not to react that way when everything is going crazy and I have so many crazy days. Satan has all the right tricks up his sleeve too. He knows when to catch us (when our husbands aren’t there and we’re doing everything by ourselves) He knows what our breaking point is and purposefully makes them even more difficult (dog’s peeing, things spilled, crib’s breaking, etc) But isn’t it nice that the Lord knows so much more than that: how to comfort us, what forgiveness feels like, how to start fresh, how to guide us, etc. We have such an amazing God who gave these little children as gifts to you. This is something that can be so hard to remember. Tell you what, how about we pray for each other regarding this issue (mine is the yelling thing too) and remind ourselves to pray for each other, especially when the rough moments come. I’ll be praying for you. (((HUGS)))
-Julia
Sorry about the rough day! I can remember having thoses kinds of days but God still loves me and so do my children!! I read somewhere recently (and wrote it in my journal) “Motherhood does not require perfection (thankfully) — it simply requires commitment and humility.”
I’m sorry the day was rough, but I’m glad to know I’m not the only one out there who has days like this. I’m trying to have fewer of them, but every day has those moments, it seems. You’re doing a wonderful job… and God made children so forgiving for a reason. Thanks for the honesty in this post and the chance to share the struggles that seem to plague is all.
This post is so encouraging to me, Shanda. I have had those kind of days more times than I care to remember. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who loves to be a mother, but who also gets very frustrated with things my kids do sometimes. Thank you for sharing this, and for sharing the source of our help as mothers- the Lord. I’m praying that you have a better day today. I mailed you a letter yesterday. Love you!
What an encouragement these comments have been!
Tears welled in my eyes as I read this. It seems all too many of my days are like this lately. It’s so hard to stay possitive. I hope the new day brought a refreshed energy for you.
Boy, how many times could I have written this post!!!! I get so upset when I let my emotions get the best of me. Seems like all I do is struggle to be a good mom everyday. I just keep praying that some day I’ll learn to just be quiet and let God be God. That would make everything so much easier. But no, I have do what I do and mess things up. That just kills me! I think this is the hardest job on the face of the earth, but it’s certainly the most rewarding!!!!!!
Been there – done that! Your honesty is so refreshing.
And I hope it was more positive! Its in the past, you’ve learned from it, and I found the comedy in it! :>) I love you! You are an awesome mom and far worse has come out of some mothers mouths than what you shared. I know you feel bad but at least you went to the right source to fix the problem. I love you! I know I already said that but . . .
That is wonderful that after a day like that you opened up your journal to the Lord. I feel bad when my kids go to bed with me yelling at them also. The other night when I put Matthew to bed I started crying in his room & here is a 2 year old comforting me. It was so sweet and really made me realize how lucky I am to have such sweet & loving children. Even at the lowest time they can pick us up. They are all a blessing to us.
You are not alone, I’m so glad you are open with things going on at your home & in your life. Have a great evening.
I wow. I just posted a blog very much like this one. If you read the one I just finished posting you’ll understand what I mean by………”I see you.”
Aren’t packing peanuts the WORST???!!! Oh my. They stick to everything- and spread like wildfire at the same time.
I can see we all agree…we have such days and get worn out. I just wanted to take care of you when I read this ((HUGS)) Just watch those big boys….they will learn so much from Dad and grow up to help you and comfort you!! It is humbling, but a blessing. Some days I would be melting and one of them would walk up and take something from my hands and do it for me, or look into my face and say it is OK. They learn the good stuff God does through us too…Praise Him for that. Like when a baby pats you on the back…because you have patted him and loved him so many times. love, Jenny
I read the following from a homeschool site and this was written by a Dad, Todd….even the men relate. Thought you would enjoy it too.
“Here’s the long and the short of it. A day at our house is much like a day at your house, although you probably don’t believe me. You’re convinced that your house is the only one that is filled with bad attitudes, yelling, and pigpen messes.You assume that every other family starts the day before sunrise, spends an hour in family worship, eats a good, hot, home-cooked breakfast together before the children happily do their chores, with school beginning promptly at 7 AM.You really believe that every other homeschool family basks in the glow of learning and being together all day, that the children share joyfully and are several grade levels above their peers, and that each of them has mastered the Cello.The truth is that all of our houses are pretty similar in different ways. No one has arrived; in fact, there are days where I feel like we haven’t even shown up at the starting line.As hard as we’ll try today to please God in all that we do, I’m just about sure the kids will argue, or I’ll blow my cool, snip at my wife, ignore my children, or act about as ungodly as I DON’T want to be. I wish it were different, and someday it will be (when I die!), but I draw comfort from knowing we’re all in the same boat together.We’re just plain old dirt-jars (that’s what the Bible says) so that when we do have a good day, exhibit a good attitude, or experience self-control, we can say, “That was totally God because it didn’t come from me.”So from one dirt-jar to another, keep praying, trying, loving, and asking forgiveness from those you hurt, and take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone and that one day things will be different.”
I just wanted to say Thank You for being you, and showing your life that is real. So many times I come across blogs that seem to good to be true and usually don’t show some real life challenges.
My life is an open book~ people can either take me for who I am with all the trials I face, all my mistakes, the non-perfect house all the time, the trips to a fast food resturant here and there, an occasional outburst, food all over my kids, runny noses, and so many other things that each day brings to me. Or they can write me off like an unused book.
Have a nice rest of the week:)
Renee
OH, let me tell you about those motherhood irritations! I have been there! Specially the past two weeks with kids home sick constantly! I hope you have had a better last few days! These pictures of your boys…adorable! I feel like I am always using that word on your blog, but I honestly do not know what else to use! They just are! :o)
I appreciate your transparency so much. I’ve had days like this more than I care to admit. It’s so hard sometimes. I have to say that I am totally impressed you took them to into the playland. If daddy is gone I will only drive thru for the easy dinner! I like what you said about pacing yourself and by God’s grace. I’ll remember that.