(something I read this morning):
“Your description of the caterpillar fits my family perfectly. We live an exhausting lifestyle but just can’t seem to find a way to slow down. I am even depressed at times about how hard we work and how little time we have for ourselves. Do you have any word of advice for us?
Let me share something that may help you and your husband make the tough choices on which a slower lifestyle could depend. Do you remember Vince Foster, who reportedly committed suicide during the early days of the Clinton administration? He was deputy counsel to the president before that tragic night of his death on July 20, 1993. Just eight weeks earlier, Foster had been asked to speak to students graduating from the University of Arkansas School of Law. This is what he told the students on that occasion:
A word about family. You have amply demonstrated that you are achievers willing to work hard, long hours and set aside your personal lives. But it reminds me of that observation that no one was ever heard to say on a deathbed, I wish I had spent more time at the office. Balance wisely your professional life and your family life. If you are fortunate to have children, your parents will warn you that your children will grow up and be gone before you know it. I can testify that it is true. God only allows us so many opportunities with our children to read a story, go fishing, play catch and say our prayers together. Try not to miss a one of them.
Vince Foster’s words now echo back to us from eternity. While you’re climbing the ladder of success, don’t forget your own family. Those years with your children at home will be gone in a heartbeat. Do whatever is necessary to grab those precious moments, whether it requires changing jobs, getting a smaller house, or turning down lucrative and exciting opportunities. Nothing is worth losing your kids. Nothing!”
~from Bringing up Boys, Dr. James Dobson
Replacing valuable family time with crazy busyness can be done in many ways. For example, I’ve seen church people do and do and do “for the Lord” when really they are falling into man-pleasing service while their family is going down the drain.
The Holy Spirit within you will caution you when you are going too far in your church/work activities, and He will fill your heart with peace and contentment when you are unified with your spouse and children.
I am passionate about the family. I personally see nothing wrong with placing my family in the position of highest priority here on earth. . . .God designed the family, He wants us to glorify Him with it, out of our love for Him. Does it glorify God when we are so involved in our hobbies, passions, work, and desires, that we neglect the most important responsibility He gave us? Some families seem to know how to do this naturally, but most of us wrestle with balancing homelife with work and church ministry.
If you don’t know where to start, hold a family brainstorming session! Pray!
“What do you children want to do today?” Have fun!
We want our children’s hearts!
“Let us therefore follow after the things
that make for peace,
and things wherewith
one may edify another” Romans 14:19
(I think we will make this our family verse)
That Little Child of Mine
Two eyes that shine so bright
Two lips that kiss goodnight
Two arms that hold me tight
That little child of mine
No one could ever know how much
your coming has meant.
Because I love you so,
You’re something Heaven has sent.
You’re all the world to me,
You climb upon my knee.
To me you’ll always be,
That little child of mine.
Good to be Home 
Beautiful thoughts, Shan. It is hard to find that balance sometimes. I hope you a lovely family Saturday.
Another lovely post Shanda…*sigh*….have a fabulous weekend with your family. =)
I too am very passionate for family. Sometimes my husband does not even understand that passion. We are making little armies for God that will pass down through generations, if as you said we capture our own children’s hearts. You spoke my language in this post. Thank you for making me feel normal. Sometimes I think I am kooky because I do feel so passionate and I don’t want to put other things before my family that are unnecessary. The world is constantly saying take time for you, love yourself, and while I think that is true to a degree, there needs to be balance and a lot of times these days that is lost. Enjoy your weekend. The warmer weather is such a blessing!
Andrea
There are some memories I have where God corrected me about some things concerning my family. My girls were real talkers, and it was my custom to tuck them in and hear their prayers. Sometimes they would go on and on and on. Several times I was tempted to tell them that that was enough, and they had to go to bed now. I was tired and I had things to do, and yet they prayed on. God stopped me from saying anything to them. He said that He loved hearing them, and I must not ever give them the idea that their talks with Him were trivial or too long. He also reminded me often that if I wanted them to share with me what was happening in their lives as they got older, that I had to listen when they wanted to tell me things now. My oldest could take 15 minutes just telling me about a bug on the sidewalk, but I endured because God gave me wisdom and grace. As my girls grew, they always came to me to talk about things, and I was so glad I had built a foundation of listening when they were young. Listening takes time, but it is so important. Our children must know they are cherished. They must know we accept and love them unconditionally. One way we can show them this is to listen. Really listen. Put down what you are doing and focus your whole attention on them. You won’t be sorry.
Thanks for that post, and DanishDoll for the comment….I needed to hear that.
Amen! I love this post. I am very passionate about my family as well. Thanks for sharing this today.
Such wisdom within you, Shanda! God truly led you to post such a truthful and important message!
Amen. Our children are the most precious gift from God our Father
Uggg…I just put on my makeup (mascara and all…) and then read your post – ruined! 🙂 My youngest just turned 13 – two weeks previous, my oldest got married! How’s that for children growing quickly? Shanda – you really are in the middle of the sweetest time in child rearing. I love how you savor it. God bless you.
Amen and amen. Such a good post. This time is the sweetest…and probably the most tiring. It is wise to savor it and enjoy it. I think you have had that from your parents too….you love to be with them. You will have the same reward with yours. One of the greatest blessings in homeschooling I have seen is the closeness within the families and the lasting relationship. I Amen danish dolls comment too…..the Lord led us the right way in praying with our children when young…..it continued into teens…and they all developed a relationship with the Lord in prayer. Jenny
Wise beyond her years that Shanda is! I am linking this post because it speaks to my heart in a very precious way and needs to be shared.Oh may our Lord bless you Shanda for your faithfulness in fulfilling your sweet role as wife and mother.Love,Susan
Encouraging and wise words, dear friend! Thank you for sharing.
I LOVE this post, thank you for sharing it with us. Love the poem as well it goes so well with your beautiful children.
I wish more people realized the importance of family. People at my office think I’m weird because my family always comes first.
Yep, family definitely comes first. Very nice.
Thank you for sharing the things that touched and influenced you. Thank you for this post! Balance . . . . you and I were talking about this when I visited. I think I mentioned to you about how sometimes we try to balance sin into the equation and we should never do that–it just rocks the boat way to much! I love the qoute from Vince Foster! Love you, Lish
I have been thinking about family and balance and stress a lot this weekend. Your post was very touching. Things seem to be moving too fast in life right now, some things we can’t change but some things I know I can and I need to. Thank you for the encouragement.
Beautiful children and beautiful photos! Yes, they are all still our ‘little ones’ no matter how old they get.
My dear old Dad, who was a godly man, told me that God didn’t intend for anyone to become so involved in churchwork that the family suffered.
As for Vince Foster, I’m afraid I’m one of those who still wonder if he committed suicide or if he was helped along.
Beautiful pictures of the children….as always. Hugs.
Amen to all this! Reminded me of my wonderful dad, who couldn’t wait to spend every spare minute he had off work with his family…and as much as possible, his decisions about work and schedule were made according to our needs above all. I don’t recall Dad ever having a personal hobby or doing anything in which he didn’t include us; WE WERE his “hobby”/special interest! (Of course, it goes without saying the same was also true of my homeschool, stay-at-home mother. ) Another thing I appreciate about my parents is that “their” family wasn’t the extent of their focus; they ENGAGED us in ministry and hospitality to others, so “our family” wasn’t an “end” in itself. However, Dad always called us “his 12 little disciples,” and brought to a halt any outside endeavors if his own home wasn’t in order. I’m so grateful for that. ❤
I agree ~ family first!
This is a beautiful post! My first time to visit….thank you! ~~
As of today my children are all in their 30’s. I was able to be a “stay at home mom” while they were growing up and those were wonderful days — picnics in the back yard, visiting the park, riding bikes, going to the library and bringing home armfuls of books to read, camping, fishing, teaching them how to drive a stick-shift car (we still talk (laugh) about that!) — just being together! God bless you as you and your husband raise those five beautiful children that God has entrusted to you!! PS: there were “hard” days too, but the good far outweights the bad, and I much prefer to remember the good!!
Well said and oh-so-true. . .My husband has been in part-time ministry, now full-time ministry, and we were both missionaries in Russia for several years back in the mid-90s. We saw many families (dads) there put ministry before their kids. . .very sad, and the kids knew it. There were some angry MKs in the school where I taught. When we got married, we vowed NEVER to let ministry, and now “the church”, come before each other and our children. It’s tricky, with all there is vying for our time and attention out there. . .but it IS possible. We try and choose wisely what we do, especially during the school week. Our boys play some sports, but we limit this too so they can simply have loads of free time at home. . .they LOVE to play outside in their fort, explore the woods, play tennis or basketball in the driveway and draw animals. We want them to love being boys and have great memories of growing up. . .and I am so privileged that I get to be a part of it all.
I love reading your blog. It always, always encourages me. I have not been enjoying my children lately. With it being the end of the school year, homeschooling has become a mad dash to cram everything in that I need to teach before the next school year. With that and with a darling daughter that just hit (no, slammed) into the “terrible two’s” life has been stressful and forced. This morning I decided to abandon our curriculumn and just focus on the absolute necessities to learn for next year and whatever else just seemed fun to learn. I asked each of my kids what they wanted to do today and each wanted to play outside, so we did. It was fun. I want more of that in my life, but it really is hard to come by with all the other I feel is my “duty” to do. Housework, cooking, nursing, school. I want desperately to feel, to be more connected with my husband and kids, but I don’t know how to let the rest of it go. We played outside for only a couple of hours this morning, but my house shows it. Sticky counters and kitchen table. Bits of food all over the dining room floor. And I still have supper to prepare, a baby to feed, etc, etc. Wow, so sorry to let this all out on your comment page! 😉 It’s just been on my heart and I want so much to do better in this area. Thanks again for your post.
Annie